About Me

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Lagunitas, California, United States
Still looking through a 26 year olds eyes. Do we all feel like that? Sometimes independent, strong, fearless.... while at the same time insecure, meek, and full of fear. Can be persistent, steady, and focused...and then pretty much a total basket case. So there are no rules........only this moment. That's the hope. Love is all that matters, how much Love I hold in my heart and give to others. My dream and hope is to be divorced from the past or future, which keep me from the spontanaity and magic of the present.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

4AM

Trying to write wanting to write can’t sleep so might as well. Making sense of it is not the prize just blah blah blah write to fill the time ease the soul keep from picking up someone else’s writing. Gosh, that’s so tempting. To read what’s already written, and so much of it. Could fill my days escaping into stories and pictures real and imagined. So many ways to take a trip without putting words to paper. But…….

What about my own creativity my own story, not my story story but a story. Although I suppose all writers have a bit of themselves, their heart their soul in the story they write. Yes? Maybe not. I’ve read some pretty crappy stuff.

Do you think our parents/ancestors leave psychic mush in our DNA, our neural net, the stuff that haunts us, that makes us wonder why we feel this way, act this way, think this way? What I mean to say, the things we can’t explain that don’t seem a part of us, but seem to have always been there? And not good stuff, let’s get clear about that. The dark parts, the sadness, the self-sabotaging thoughts, the complacency, the holding back on our dreams. Do you think some of that is ingrained by another life, another spirit?

There I go off in the ozone. I like it there. I want be to somewhere besides here in my own head.  Been reading about our souls, before life, during life, after life. Reminds me this isn’t all there is, thank god. I’m not sure what is “there” but that other dimension is captivating engaging comforting. So much of what I give power to, what I may think is important, just plain isn’t. Just useless sludge.

And I will stop here, because if I tell you what the only thing that matters is, I will sound trite and like so many of those sayings clichés spiritual wisdom coming out of my you-know-what.  The word, at least this morning, seems so over used and does not do its’ meaning justice. The meaning being grand, vast, empowering, blessed, heartfelt.
But, I do wish you much of it.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bin Laden

Ok they got him
I’m chucking my Buddha in the back seat
Not just throwing him in the back
But covering him with a blanket
Want to feel good about someone getting shot in the head.
That Buddha is trying to creep out
With a little mindful smile on his face
Get back there you bald round man!
Teaching me about not harming
Not today
What about all those harmed Sept 11?
And around the world in the name of a god who doesn’t exist
What about the trauma some will never get over
A shot in the head seems a small price to pay
So it’s rationalizing
So one shot won’t stop future terror
So what
I’ll let the round man who smiles sweetly
Out when I’m good and ready
Probably tomorrow.